Living With A Hitman: Groceries
by Thatwolfbutler
Summary: Henry lived with his friend Alfred it seems they were in need of some groceries! Though Alfred was in the middle of a job, that didn't stop him from giving him a grocery list.


**HEEELLLOOO EVERYONE! Welcome to this fanfic of mine! And yes this was inspired by that ask Hitman Jones ask blog on tumblr (I am NOT that person who runs the blog, obviously) xD I love Hitman greatly, so I decided to write a little something here. So enjoy!**

Down in a basement, a man in an important business suit was tied to a chair. He had a gag in his mouth and glanced around nervously, sweat starting to form on his forehead. The room was dark, with a lamp hanging over his head giving off a dim light.

A soft chuckle came out from one of the dark corners of the room and out stepped a young man, blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and a big smirk on his face. "Hello there Mr. Tanderson~ My name is Hitman Jones~ At least that's what everyone calls me." He chuckles lightly. He walked around him, slowly, watching him closely, examining him, like a wolf about to pounce on his prey. "Now I was hired because you've been a baaaad bad boy. Tsk tsk...embezzling, cheating, lying, false reports, backroom deals, the list goes on! But I'm here to set you free from all that!" He sets his hands on his shoulders, making him flinch a bit.

The man groans and leans back in his chair, glancing around. He was tied up pretty tight and he was sure he couldn't escape. He whines as this Hitman moved in front of him and took out a knife and set it against his neck, he tried moving back, but he couldn't.

"Now I was told I could have some fun, just as long as I take a picture of your dead body. Now that's reasonable right? So lets have a little fun!"

The basement door opened and a voice yelled down to it. "Hey! Alfred! We got any mayo?" That was Henry, his roommate and childhood friend.

Alfred blinks and leans back a bit. "Check in the back! Behind the mustard!" He called back up to him.

"Okay thaaaank you!" Henry chuckles and closes the door.

Alfred chuckles. "My roommate. He's a fun guy to live with. Now...where were we?" He twirls his knife around and chuckles.

A few minutes later, Alfred set the man's hand on a table and was stabbing between his fingers at a really fast speed, almost to fast, Tanderson knew he was going to stab his fingers, but he didn't know when.

Then the door opened once more and Henry started to yell down. "Hey! Alfred! I can't find the mayo! Are you suuuure it's behind the mustard?"

Alfred blinks and stabs the knife between his thumb and index finger. "The last time I checked, yeah!"

"When was the last time you checked? Cause I don't see it!" Henry scratches his head.

"Like...a week ago? What are you making? A burger? Sandwich?" He raised a brow.

"Sandwich! Need the mayo for flavor! Can't have a BLT without mayo!" Henry chuckles lightly.

Alfred sighed and tapped his foot. "Hmmmm...though their wasn't much left." He rubbed his chin and hums. "Okay! Why don't you check again! If it's not there, then I will just have to go buy some more!"

"Okaaaay!" Henry went back to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

Alfred smiles and picks up the knife, twirling it around. "Now...where were we?" He chuckles and grins.

Tanderson started to shake and shiver, groaning a bit.

Alfred sighs and tosses the knife behind him, making it stab itself in the wall. "Now I changed my mind. I think what I'm gonna do is something a liiiiittle more entertaining!" He grins and laughs, spinning around and running off. He looks through a few things and pulls out a brief case and whistles. He sets it down on a table then opens it. "Aaahhhh! This is gonna be fuuuun~! I like this baby!" He laughs and takes out a pistol and twirls it around his finger before gripping it.

"Hey! Alfred!" Henry had opened the door and called down to him. "Okay! So their wasn't any mayo left! Turns out we don't have any bacon either! We could also use some eggs, soda, and butter! Do you plan on going to the store anytime soooon or what?"

Alfred blinks and looks towards the stairs. "How about you just go and make a list of the groceries we need and I'll make a run out to the store when I'm done down here, okay?"

"Alright sounds good to me!" Henry closed the door once more.

Alfred chuckles and shakes his head. "Anyways! Where were we, huh?" He grins and looks at his target. "Now I think it's time we finish this up real quick~" He aims the gun at his head and groaned. "Weeeeell...maybe here..." He aims it at his eye. "But then again..." Then at his heart. "You know, it's really hard trying to figure out how I want to do this...has to be quick, but I really hate making things quick, I prefer something a bit more...challenging...buuuut I can't pick all my missions you know." He sighs heavily and rolled his shoulders.

The door opened and downstairs walked Henry, wearing just his boxers and a t-shirt. "Hey Alfred! I made that list! So we also need some soda, milk, baking soda, ranch dressing, and some ice cream would be great. You're going out anyways, right? So here's the list and I hope you can get this stuff soon!" He smiles and folds out the list, setting it in his breast pocket. He then turns around and smiles. "Oh! Hello!"

Alfred chuckles a bit and lowers his gun. "Fine fine, now I'm just trying to finish up here, but I don't know, this is soooooo boring! Buuuuut sometimes jobs can be like this." He sighs heavily and shaking his head.

Henry blinks a few times and scratches his head. "Oh! Well...I dunno...I'm not an expert on this you know..." Henry snaps his fingers and smiles. "I never introduced myself! Hello mister!" He smiled at the important man and held out his hand. "My name is Henry! I live here with Alfred, though we move around quite a bit, but that's not important. It's my day off! I'm a sniper you see, so that's always fun."

Alfred rolled his shoulders, his fingers itching to pull the trigger. He tapped his foot against the ground and licked his lips a bit and groaned. "Come oooon, was there anything else you need? Because I'm just about ready to shoot you too."

Henry blinks and ruffles his hair before starting to laugh. "Right right, I'll be upstairs if you need me." He waves as he heads back upstairs and whistles.

Alfred chuckled and shook his head. "He's a real nice guy, really great Sniper too. I learned a few tips and tricks on how to be a good sniper from him. But I'm sure you don't care." He grins and takes the gag out of his mouth and quickly put the barrel of his gun in it instead. "Now I shall count to three, give you time to think about what you've done wrong. One."

 _BANG_

Blood splattered across his face and shirt and on the back wall. Alfred laughs and twirls his gun around his finger. "Oops~ Seems I couldn't wait. Now say cheese!" He grins and puts his arm over his shoulder. "Hope you thought about what you did." He laughs and twirls his gun around his finger as he takes out the grocery list and hummed to himself as he read over it. "Well...I should probably go to the grocery store now." He mumbled under his breath.


End file.
